I just want everyone to feel warm and safe and happy, and loved, and comfortable and accepted and valid and worthwhile and free and respected and valued.
So much of what I think and feel is based on just not wanting other people to feel bad, and to be in bad positions.
One guy said that this was patriarchal of me because it was very motherly and a woman doing motherly things is supporting gender roles or some crap. I think I told him to eff off, which is funny and silly because I think it was a justified response but also I want him to feel happy, valid etc.

I don’t know. This is a useless post, and I feel useless saying “I just want everyone to be in a good situation. Wouldn’t it be jolly nice if all inequalities and whatnot went away and everyone could be free. Now lets go have some cherry”
But Jesus. It’d be nice wouldn’t it.

This dude, this dude was talking to me about how he doesn’t think much of feminism, and I was like “Well I do.” (But of course, he already knew that.)
I’d basically say that inequality makes things hard for people (Which can be a severe understatement.) and privilege gives other people an easy step up, and its not fair. I just want everything to be fair and good, and for people to feel good.
N’he was like “It’s not about fair.”
Why can’t it be about fair.

Whats so silly about wanting things to be good?

Perhaps ’cause it seems like there’s nothing I can do to help. Oh. Biting Beaver wrote something a long time ago. that she would die in the same world she was born. That she’d never see any changes, and that it upset her deeply and the day she wrote it I was like “Yes. I understand.”
N I put it as my MSN quote and got asked about it by a “friend” (Read: Jerk who later came to harass my sister.) - and told him the story and got asked why I even want to try and change things anyway. Why not just live life and igore all that bad shit.
But… I just… want everyone to feel good, and loved, and valued and safe and warm and accepted. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t want those things, and try for those things even when it seems bleak?

Inequalities n’shit. That they’re not going away, oh god how long will it be ’till… ’till just one thing is gone. Sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, ageism etc.
How long will it take to eradicate one of those oppressions let alone all of them? Fuck, this spell checker doesn’t even recognize ableism as a _word._

Yeah. I’m a pessimist. I don’t much know what to do about it but pretend some days like I’m not a pessimist and keep trying.

I didn’t mean this post to end like this. I just wanted to tell everyone I wish them well but I kept going. I’ve been feeling really bad over the past few days for unknown reasons. I was sobbing in the middle of the street today, and sobbing at home, and lonely yesterday even though I wasn’t even alone in the house, just not in the same room as my house mate while my boyfriend was out.
I should follow that “seeing a therapist” thing up. It’s probably be good for me.

I do genuinely wish everyone well.

*sobbing again*

I think I’ll go to bed.