Not in the best of moods.
I just had a little spat with my S.O, I think I was in the wrong, I’m not sure. Got me emotional anyway, so I left the house for an internet cafe.
I was talking in a feminist forum, with a girl talking about a channel called ‘oxygen’ that she likes. We got onto speaking about how the majority of the media is aimed at white men, where we both agreed. She said the majority of action heros are men, and i noted that even when they are women, they’re made into sexual objects.
It exploded from here where she said that these women in movies are just ustilizing their sexuality, and that it’s showing womens sexuality as powerful, ’sex sells’ and men are also sex symbols.
I thought there was a difference between a sex object, and a sex symbol. A sexy man is still a person, in fact, he’s a person first, and then sexy second. Sexy women in movies are there to be sexy first, and to do other things second.
She said that some or most people might see the women as sex objects, but she didn’t so it was okay. I responded that if some or most people see women as sex objects, there’s clearly some problem. In the same post that I responded to, she said this:
“You can be oppressed all you want, but I’m going to enjoy the sexuality that women can exhibit with such powerfulness.”
I can be oppressed if I want to. I can choose oppression. This is something I choose. Okay. Also: I don’t enjoy sexuality. She’s said similar things about me and sex in other threads.
I continued to explain that female characters in movies are characters written by men and that when you’re watching a character on the silver screen, you’re not watching a woman making empowered choices, you’re watching a woman fill a role that men have created.
She said there’s nothing we can do about it, and I responded that we can get active, boycott things, write letters etc.
I was told that she couldn’t care less about the issue of objectification, and she has other things to fight. Alright, I give her that she’s focusing on other things, but she was also saying that objectification wasn’t a bad thing, and that if it was a bad thing, there’s nothing to be done about it, and how she doesn’t watch shows that make her feel bad anyway, she watches shows with powerful women in them, shows like Sex in the City.
She also talked about how we can change the porn industry not by protesting, but by creating ‘good’ porn. I had a problem with several things in that post, the biggest one being the idea that creating ‘good’ porn will eliminate ‘bad’ porn.
The people who get off on the degredation and humiliation won’t watch this ‘good porn’ and the people who do watch it, are still using a womans body to get off to. I also wouldn’t say ‘Sex in the City’ empowers women.
I was then told this:
“ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Do you want to know how often I hear this?
Too often!
There’s no substance to what’s being said.
No proof.
Women are objectified every day. So are homosexuals. So are hispanics. So are Native Americans. So are animals!
Do you know who objectified women? Idiots. Do I waste my time changing the opinions of idiots. No! I have better things to do.
I don’t want to change anyone’s opinion. I want them to change it themselves. I want them to wake up with one big bitch-slap on a Tuesday morning. Holding a picket sign may help, but I’ll leave that work to you.
I’m going to watch The Color Purple. And then I’m going to be awed by Frida’s artwork. And then I’m going to have fun with my cobalt blue vibrator. And you want to know why? Because I’m going to enjoy the awesome oragsms that I deserve! 
And then I’m going to watch Sex in teh City. ”
I’ve posted her the link to the APA report before, so I’m not happy at being told that there’s no substance to what I’m saying. Is it really that bad for a feminist to say that objectification is bad? Also, another implication that I’m ‘anti-sex.’
I don’t know, I’m complaining about someone else, and that doesn’t feel very ‘big’ of me, but I don’t know. I’ve been insulted a few times now, I’ve been told that the sexism I see in objectification is an unsubstantiated non issue, and that I’m oppressing myself. This is the first time I’ve had such a discussion, and I’m not feeling all that great about it.
On a more positive note. I just discovered this blog
